When the Time is Near to Say Goodbye

Every once in a while, I come across people who come and claim that a loved one has passed away and a funeral is requested in a Catholic church, because the next-of-kin claims that the recently deceased was baptised as a Catholic. While we empathise with such persons and offer our condolences, it may also be necessarily to furnish some proof or evidence that the recently deceased was indeed baptised and a practising Catholic, especially if we are not too familiar with the persons affected, or have not seen or heard of such persons affected.

Some of you may be wondering: "Are we being judgemental here?" Actually, no. As many of us know or ought to know, a person must be baptised and a practising Catholic before other sacraments or church rites could be administered. Also, some persons have, in the past, tried to find an easy way out or save cost by having a Christian burial, as a non-Christian funeral could rack up a substantial amount (for example, a funeral and burial according to certain Chinese customs could really burn a massive hole in your wallet, especially after taking into consideration the cost of the coffin, getting the services of a Taoist priest, Buddhist monk or some Chinese-belief religious leader; as well as other funeral expenses). Moreover, if a person has been found to have converted to a certain faith, the authorities of that faith would want to claim the body of the recently deceased for funeral rites of that faith, seeing how such issues had occurred in the not-too-distant past, and caused much consternation and anguish among the next-of-kin.  If such a scenario happens, a baptism certificate may not make much of a difference, though it may come in handy should it be somehow proven that the person's conversion to the other faith is null and void.

That is why, a baptism certificate is such an important document for all baptised Catholics. It seems strange that many of us would be careful not to lose our IC (Identity card, especially in Malaysia and in some other countries), or some other important document such as a driver's license or passport. Also, it seems strange that many of us would be extra cautious not to lose our ATM bank card, credit cards or debit cards, since we know the consequences of losing such important items. Yet when it comes to the baptism certificate, I wonder how many of us make the effort to keep it in a safe place where it could be retrieved and referred to when the need arises. Also, I wonder how many of us make effort to ensure that we have our baptism and other sacrament records kept up-to-date, and have a latest baptism certificate at hand, should the need to furnish one arises.

The question we need to ask ourselves is this: if tomorrow never comes, would our family members have the necessary documentation to proceed with the necessary preparations? Would we want to add to the anxiety and pain already being experienced by our loved ones? Let us not slack or procrastinate further, and do ourselves and everyone else some charity and mercy, by ensuring our baptism certificate and other sacrament certificates are up-to-date and accessible.

Baptism With Right Intention

I have observed, from time to time, people coming to me and asking whether their elderly and seriously ill dad or mum could be baptised. While it is true that "Every person not yet baptized and only such a person is capable of baptism," there is also such a thing as "intention to receive baptism." This means that the person himself or herself must have voiced his or her intention to be baptised, and that the person has received some instruction about the Catholic faith.

Canon Law, which is Catholic church law, puts it clearly:

Can. 865 §1. For an adult to be baptized, the person must have manifested the intention to receive baptism, have been instructed sufficiently about the truths of the faith and Christian obligations, and have been tested in the Christian life through the catechumenate. The adult is also to be urged to have sorrow for personal sins.
§2. An adult in danger of death can be baptized if, having some knowledge of the principal truths of the faith, the person has manifested in any way at all the intention to receive baptism and promises to observe the commandments of the Christian religion.

So why I am bringing up this matter? It is because of two situations which have crop up which people should understand. What matter am I talking about? In a nutshell, it concerns a keyword: convenience.

1. Some families have come to me asking that their dad or mum be baptised because most of them are Catholics and Christians, and they do not know how to go about conducting a non-Christian funeral, should dad or mum pass away. So, for their convenience, they ask that their dad or mum be baptised. Sometimes, they even go to the extent of convincing, coercing or even arm-twisting their dad or mum to be baptised.
2. As some of us may know or have heard, conducting a funeral according to certain other rites could be quite an expensive endeavour. This is because the cost of the coffin, the funeral arrangements, getting the religious leader to conduct the rites, and other factors, could cause the funeral costs to become astronomical. Some members of certain families had told me: "It seems cheaper to have a Christian funeral."

But these reasons or excuses are not sufficient grounds for a person to be baptised. The person himself or herself must freely, genuinely and joyfully be willing to receive baptism. Even when the person is seriously ill and in danger of death, the person should not and cannot be forced to be baptised, just to make some family members happy. Convenience is not a reason for a baptism to take place. After all, are we being fair to the person, who has had no intention or desire to be baptised, but because of interference or threats from certain family members, agree (possibly grudgingly) to go ahead with the baptism?

Therefore, we should be vigilant when it comes to matters like this. May those who are to be baptised do so with full intention, full desire, happily, willingly and joyfully, not to please certain family members or for the convenience of such family members.

Baptism: An Analogy to our Faith

Have you ever noticed how infants behave when they are about to be baptised? Some of you may wonder: "But infants are infants. They either sleep, feed or cry. What are you getting at?" Well, actually if you observe infants and how they respond when you baptise them, we could get some insights about ourselves, as well as how and where we are in our faith.

Among the many infants I have baptised, the ones I find quite interesting are the little ones who look at you with those big eyes, as if they are looking with curiosity and wonder. When you baptise them, they do not make much of a fuss, and it is a joy to see the reaction of the parents, godparents and others present. Sometimes, I hear a little chuckle or happy sound coming from the infant. Perhaps the infant might have experienced the Lord's presence, or the feeling of being redeemed by the Lord.

The second kind of infants I encounter are those who cry like crazy when they are about to be baptised. It sounds as if they are saying: "NO! Don't give me that! I don't want! Leave me alone! Go away! Arrgh! Water is coming! No good!" Some of these infants may be crying for a good reason: perhaps it is hungry, or has soiled its diapers, or something might have happened, but wow can they make a fuss. Sometimes, the infant continues crying even after the baptism, and some even cry louder, appearing as if they are trying to voice their displeasure or throw a tantrum. It is interesting to see the response of the parents and other family members, doing their utmost best to calm the little one down, while possibly getting stressed and frazzled as well.

The third kind of infants are those who sleep through the baptism, or just open their eyes for a little while, and then go back to sleep. It is as if they are saying: "Mmmh? What's this? Oh? A bath? Some water to drink? Some... zzzzz." These infants seem to be oblivious about what is going on, and they can really sleep, even long after the baptism has been completed.

Now what does all these have to do with our faith? If I may make an analogy, our faith could be similar to those infants who are a joy while being baptised, or those infants who make so much fuss, or even those infants who seem sleepy and oblivious to what is happening. Some of us are like the first kind of infants, curious and full of wonder of our faith, and we joyfully find ways and means to find out more about our faith, as well as being willing and enthusiastic in sharing our faith with others, while building a relationship with God and with others. Some of us are like the second kind of infants, and we seem to only know how to complain or grumble. When we don't get what we want, we kick up a fuss and create a ruckus. Some even begin to leave and go to some other denomination or even follow a different faith, feeling angry or disillusioned when things don't go our way. Some of us are like the third kind of infants, looking sleepy and fed up, or not interested in or bothered about anything. When asked to help out, some may shy away or do without any interest or enthusiasm.

Perhaps we should take a good look at ourselves. Are we falling more into one of these "kind of infants"? Have we been like one kind or another at different times of our lives? When we were baptised, we were given the Holy Spirit. May we utilise the Holy Spirit in our lives, and with enthusiasm, joy and curiosity grow closer to God, while we grow in love and friendship with others. Baptism was the start of Jesus' ministry, and He showed us many examples of how we ought to fulfil our duty as Christians. Let us not delay and do our part, for the greater glory of God.

To Sponsor or not to Sponsor?

A Bit of Background

There was a time in the past where Christians were facing tremendous persecution from the Roman Empire, especially before the year 313 AD (313 AD was the year when the Edict of Milan declared the Roman Empire neutral towards religious views, in effect ending the persecution of Christians). Because of such persecution, it was necessary for Christians to be cautious of who they admitted into their community, as well as how they went about in their tasks. Also, at that time, the Sacraments of Initiation (i.e. baptism, holy Eucharist, and confirmation) were administered together (all one shot) instead of separately.

So, to watch their back and to filter out potential Roman nasties (spies or infiltrators - you wouldn't want a T-800 or T-1000 or T-X from the Terminator series kacauing right? Just kidding!) bent on exposing and getting them persecuted, Christians introduced the role of sponsors. The role of sponsor had several tasks:

1. To vouch for the adult being baptised (in other words, the sponsor testified that the bloke or the lass is a-ok and not a Roman nasty).
2. To assist the person during the catechumenate in preparing for the Sacraments of Initiation, and in living a Christian life.
3. To make the Profession of Faith in the child's name (in the case of infant baptism) and accept the responsibility of instructing the child in the faith, especially if the parents played hooky and did not do their duty in doing so.

Though nowadays we often identify the sponsor of a child for baptism as the godparent (godmother or godfather or sometimes, both), the actual term (betul-betul, original) remains "sponsor."


Sponsor - Some Preliminary Tots

Now that we have some background on "sponsors," we will need to look at some "undang-undang meriam - oops... undang-undang gereja." Canon Law (Can. 872) tells us "Insofar as possible, a person to be baptized is to be given a sponsor who assists an adult in Christian initiation or together with the parents presents an infant for baptism. A sponsor also helps the baptized person to lead a Christian life in keeping with baptism and to fulfill faithfully the obligations inherent in it. So whether you are a big buffalo or a small buffalo, you need a sponsor, not only to witness your baptism, but to "take care" or "jaga" you, in other words, to see that you are kuai kuai (乖乖) and be a good Catholic.

Canon Law (Can. 873) also reminds us "There is to be only one male sponsor or one female sponsor or one of each." The reason this is stated is because in some cultures, folks seem to think "the more the merrier," and they have so many sponsors. No need so many sponsors lah. One enough, but if you want 2 also can, just make sure one male and one female lah.


Criteria for the Responsibility. Don't Play Play.

So how do we determine who can become a sponsor? What sort of criteria should we look at? Once again, Canon Law (Can. 874 §1.) tells us:

To be permitted to take on the function of sponsor a person must:

1. Be designated by the one to be baptised, by the parents or the person who takes their place, or in their absence by the pastor or minister and have the aptitude and intention of fulfilling this function;
This basically means, either:
a. The one to be baptised OR
b. The parents or person acting as the parent OR
c. The pastor or minister
chooses a sponsor. The sponsor is not one simply or suka-suka assigned to the one to be baptised. The sponsor must be chosen carefully.
Also, note that the sponsor may be chosen, but he or she would still need to say "Yes" and accept being chosen, and not only that, he or she must have the right disposition to be chosen. If, for example, the sponsor feels that he or she has too many godchildren already, or for some other reason, the sponsor can still say "No" to being a sponsor. Don't play play... sponsor cannot be forced to be a sponsor one.

2. Have completed the sixteenth year of age, unless the diocesan bishop has established another age, or the pastor or minister has granted an exception for a just cause;
You must be at least 16 years old to be a sponsor, unless otherwise stated by the diocesan bishop, or the pastor or minister has good and valid reason to choose such a young of age sponsor.

3. Be a Catholic who has been confirmed and has already received the most holy sacrament of the Eucharist and who leads a life of faith in keeping with the function to be taken on;
Certainly not an easy criteria. Not only the sponsor needs to be baptised and confirmed as a Catholic, he or she also needs to live an exemplary life as a Catholic. Some examples of an exemplary life include: regularly attending Mass; regularly receiving Sacrament of Confession; good prayer life; active in church, especially in one or two church ministries; just some of the many examples.

4. Not be bound by any canonical penalty legitimately imposed or declared;
Canonical penalty includes a person who has been excommunicated from the church due to some serious reason; and many other penalties too numerous to discuss here. If you want to know more, see your parish priest and/or read up on BOOK VI : SANCTIONS IN THE CHURCH. Quite a lot to read, and may be a cure for insomnia for some, since the text is legal jargon and requires time and effort to understand well. Certainly not an easy read.

5. Not be the father or mother of the one to be baptized.
Your fudder and your mudder cannot be your sponsor. This also includes the legal guardian of the one being baptised. Go laa and find someone else. Surely can find one.

§2. A baptized person who belongs to a non-Catholic ecclesial community is not to participate except together with a Catholic sponsor and then only as a witness of the baptism.
Christians who are not Catholics cannot be a sponsor, since they are not of the same Catholic faith, and do not share the same Catholic understanding of confirmation, Holy Sacrament of the Eucharist, and who leads a Catholic life of faith. These Christians can still be a witness to the baptism, no worries.


Conclusion

So you see, finding a sponsor for your child's baptism or the baptism of an adult (whether it is your spouse, a non-baptised parent, or some other adult) is not so easy. Being a sponsor is also not so easy or kacang (in other word, not a walk in the park). You are a sponsor not for fun, since you also need to walk the talk and show by good example. May we be careful who we choose as a sponsor, so that the child or adult being baptised would have a good companion to journey with, as he or she progresses in the Catholic faith.

Searching and Retrieving Baptism Records

Most of the baptism records in churches are still found in books. This is because, to a certain extent, books and written text are still necessary to ensure that such important and significant information is not lost should something happen, as required by Canon Law (Can.  877 §1). Data stored on computers could be easily lost in many ways, and not many church parishes have got the proper personnel, funds and equipment to convert written records to computer data, and then maintaining and ensuring proper backups of such data.

Since such baptism records are still found in books, and some parishes have been around for decades or even more than a century, some of these parishes would have several books containing such baptism records. Naturally, this poses quite a problem trying to find a particular record, since so many faithful have been baptised over the years.

If you are looking for your baptism record, you would need to have as much information as you can recall and make available, to be given to the parish office, so that your baptism record may be successfully found. The best option would be if you have an old baptism certificate which you could show to the parish office, since such a baptism certificate would make finding your baptism record so much easier. However, not many of us may have been mindful or careful about preserving our baptism certificate, due to one reason or another. Thus, these are some of the suggested information you would need to provide:

1. Full name (according to your birth certificate or identity card, whichever available)
2. Date of birth (actual date of birth as stated on your birth certificate)
3. Place of birth (Including hospital, clinic, where possible)
4. Name of parents (Father's and mother's full name)
5. Date of baptism (if cannot recall, approximate date)
6. Place of baptism (church or chapel name and location)
7. Christian Name (in full, not nickname or short form please)
8. Name of God parent/s

Note that, unless you are willing and able to provide as much information about you as possible, it would be not possible to search and retrieve your baptism records successfully.