Dressing Modestly and with Decorum in Church - A Wedding Drama

Every once in a while, I come across couples planning for their wedding and in some instances, the bride then asks whether she could dress a little more stylo milo in one of those modern wedding gowns. The bride is advised to dress modestly and conservatively, since the wedding is taking place in church and a certain amount of decorum is expected. After all, you wouldn't wear shorts and t-shirt, or some other inappropriate clothing, when you go to a banquet or attend a function where a VIP (Very Important Person), Dignitaries or members of Royalty, are present. So, in church, one should dress modestly, properly and appropriately.

However, sometimes I come across a bride who "berdegil" or is stubborn.

At one wedding day, a bride came dressed in a round neck strapless sleeveless wedding gown (similar to the wedding gown of this picture), supported only with don't know what item together with her upper anatomy (possibly trying to show off certain parts). As she was walking down the aisle, all of a sudden, the upper part of her wedding gown gave way and the whole thing dropped down. It seems that the poor lady was not wearing anything inside and everything above her waist was revealed. I quickly closed my eyes and looked elsewhere, not wanting to see the consequence of the clothing malfunction, but the cameras and video recorders, I am told, caught the whole sequence of revelation.

Naturally, the poor bride was red with embarrassment and in tears. Her mother at least had the presence of mind to get her husband's coat and cover up the poor bride. Then the sobbing bride was led away. The wedding certainly could not continue till a later date.

So, if you are planning for your wedding, just be mindful that unexpected situations could occur. As some may say, "malang tidak berbau" or "kejatuhan tidak boleh disangka" (loosely translated as "calamnity or accidents cannot be predicted and may happen"). Dress properly and modestly in church, as it is a sacred place and God's dwelling, and not some concert hall, fashion show or opera house. Later at some other place such as the wedding dinner or banquet, you want to dress shockalingam or stylo milo, that is up to you.

Choosing Wedding Processional Music Wisely

On the wedding day, many couples use the Bridal Chorus by Wagner when the bride process into the church with her father or someone representing her father to be handed to the groom. After the wedding Mass or service, many newly-wedded couples process out of the church while the Wedding March by Mendelssohn is played.

Many people refer to "The Bridal Chorus" as the wedding march, but in fact, the "Wedding March" and "The Bridal Chorus" are two distinct pieces, each with their own histories. Both were originally written for use in the context of fictional weddings. Understanding the background behind each, may help you decide whether to use them in your own wedding.

The “Bridal Chorus” from Wagner’s opera, Lohengrin, actually accompanies the couple to the bedroom, not the altar! “Lohengrin” is a tragic tale of love between Lohengrin and Elsa, whose marriage is never consummated after their wedding and who are forever parted shortly after they wed (the bride Elsa dies). “Lohengrin” contains elements of intrigue, suspicion, lies and ill-will.

Mendelssohn’s incidental music to Shakespeare’s Midsummer Night’s Dream, the "Wedding March," accompanies a farcical (that which is ridiculously clumsy; ludicrous, absurd) wedding (the play is a comedy), between a fairy and a man turned into a donkey (ass or jackass).

Though there is no official ban or prohibition from using these music pieces for your wedding, looking at their background, would you still want to use them in your wedding?

Some possible alternatives to consider are:

Canon in D (J. Pachelbel)
Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring (J. S. Bach)
Air on the G String (J. S. Bach)
Air (G. F. Handel)
Hornpipe (G. F. Handel)
Trumpet Tune (H. Purcell / J. Clarke)
Trumpet Voluntary (J. Clarke)
Rondeau (J. J. Mouret)
Ode to Joy (L. Beethoven)

MyKad, Passport & Baptism Certificate

This posting is generally relevant only to Malaysians. There may be some other countries in the world which use an identity card of some sort; if so this posting may apply to them too.

Most of us are aware of the importance of our IC or Identity Card (also known nowadays as MyKad). The MyKad must be carried at all times. Failure to do so may incur a fine of between RM3,000 and RM20,000 or jail term of up to three years.

If you plan to travel to another country, you would need a passport. Without a passport, you could be denied entry into the other country and may face a fine, jail term, and deportation.





The church has also got an important document called a baptism certificate. The baptism certificate states that a person has been baptised according to the Catholic rite on a particular date, church, name of parents, name of Godparents, the priest or deacon who conducted the baptism, as well as the date the baptism certificate is issued. A record entry of when a person is confirmed and when a person is married is also stated on the baptism certificate.

Before you receive any other sacrament, you need to have been baptised. Baptism is the first part of initiation into the Church, into the Body of Christ. So Baptism is a prerequisite for the reception of other sacraments: for Eucharist, Reconciliation, Confirmation, Holy Orders, Marriage and for the making of profession of vows in an institute of consecrated life.

Prior to the reception of these sacraments, the priest must check that you have been baptised, and a baptism certificate is required here. For marriage, it is necessary to prove that you are free to marry and have a wedding Mass or service. In this case a recent baptismal certificate is required. When a person has passed away, a baptism certificate is required as proof that the person is a Catholic, otherwise a Catholic funeral cannot be granted.

It is strongly advisable for you to have a latest copy of the baptism certificate, especially after you have received the sacrament of confirmation, when you plan to get married, and after the wedding has taken place.