BO and MO during Confession?

Among the many challenges a padre has to put up with when it comes to confession, one which is just as potent and potentially pengsan-able (slang in Malay for likely a cause for one to faint) is the whole matter of BO and MO. In case you do not know what those acronyms are, BO is body odour, and MO is mouth odour. At times, the BO and/or the MO could be quite overwhelming, and some of us may need to look away, not because we do not like the penitent, but because direct inhalement of such "perfume" could result in temporary lost of attention and temporary deprivation of senses.

Sometimes, the cocktail of chemicals emanating from the BO and MO is excruciating, almost similar to traces of malathion, or even similar to the stuff used to fog away mosquitoes, and such "fragrance" could remain in the near-surrounding atmosphere for quite a while, necessitating in temporary interruption of operations, before the next penitent could be beckoned.

Seeing how such interruptions could lead to further delays in attending to many other souls looking to "cuci kolam" ("clean the pool," as what a certain "mother superior" likes to say, referring to confession), I implore such persons affected to have a heart and do something to make such scents a little less obvious. A "scent"-free environment would really help enable the process of reconciliation to be carried out smoothly, for the good of all.

Art Thou Reckless?

Nowadays, I see more and more people driving at high speeds, especially on the highway (North-South highway, LEKAS highway (some of the many highways in Malaysia), doesn't matter. You get Formula-1 wannabes). The speed limit is 90 Km/h or 110 Km/h, depending on which highway one is using, but these people seem to be going much faster than the speed limit. Sometimes, you get drivers who cut across from the left lane, right to the centre lane and to the right lane - almost in one motion, as if they are doing "sapu jalan tepi ke tepi" (driving the car as if sweeping the road sideways, in case you do not know the Malay language).

Why do people need to do such dangerous things on the road? Perhaps they are in a hurry; perhaps they want to show how canggih or sporty their vehicle is; perhaps they are suffering from acute diarrhoea and they need to get to the toilet quickly before they explode in their pants;  or perhaps some people have become more impatient, possibly due to the impact technology has on our lives and being quick, being fast seems a necessity.

When we are reckless on the road, accidents could happen. This picture I took while going to Jelebu to celebrate Mass at St. Augustine, a village church at Titi, is of a badly-damaged vehicle. This is a chilling example of what could happen.

Accidents could also happen to our souls, especially if we are reckless in the way we live. If we commit sins and refuse to be regular in our confession, then we could be reckless in our relationship with God. We do not know when we are going to "balik kampung" (depart from this world). Let us not wait until it is too late... Rather, let us strive to be closer to God and "love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength, and with all your mind. And love your neighbour as yourself."

Are We Really Keeping Clean?

Maintaining cleanliness in our homes or living quarters is something we do regularly to ensure good hygiene and overall tidiness. Maintaining cleanliness includes taking out the garbage, lest the house itself ends up becoming a rubbish dump, which would then attract unwanted creatures like cockroaches, rats, mice and other creepy crawlies which either thrive on the rubbish or feed on the pests and vermin that thrive on the rubbish, which would then pose a danger to humans. We have read horrible accounts of diseases and other deadly forms brought by such unwanted creatures.

Likewise, most of us would make much effort in keeping our bodies clean and healthy. We would eat well, take vitamins and other supplements, go for regular exercise and go for regular medical checkups. Most of us would also bathe regularly and put on nice smelling perfume, so that we feel clean and pleasant smelling as much as possible. We would not want our body odour to get the attention of others around us, as we would feel quite embarrassed if people start holding their noses and looking at us with disgust. Could you just imagine what would happen if we did not take a bath for a few days, or even for a week? Surely people would avoid us as the stench, stink and smell emitting from our body would to quite unbearable and nauseating.

If you noticed, keeping our homes and living quarters clean and tidy, as well as keeping our bodies healthy and clean are only temporary matters. One day, our homes and living quarters will become obsolete, and we may need to have it renovated extensively, or even torn down to be rebuilt as new. Our bodies too do not last forever, it doesn't matter whether it is sooner or later, we will die one day. This leaves us with something which perhaps many of us have been neglecting or have not been giving enough attention: our soul. Our soul will not die, but will live on and face God some day. If we consider for a moment: our homes and living quarters may be clean; our bodies may be clean; but is our soul clean?

Each time we sin, it doesn't matter whether we committed a small sin or a serious sin, our soul is being stained and soiled. As long as we do not clean our soul, the stain remains. When a stain is found on your shirt or dress, would you let it be? Surely we would get rid of the stain as quickly as possible, since the stain would eventually ruin the shirt or dress if we do not do anything about it. But it seems strange that there are people who do not seem to bother about removing the stain on their soul as quickly as possible. Such people go on living, thinking they have got plenty of time to get the stain on their soul removed, but what they fail to realise is that the longer they leave the stain there, the harder it is for them to get it removed. Not only that, they may be caught off-guard and may not have the opportunity to get the stain on their soul removed since death could come unexpectedly. What would happen then?

To clean our souls, we need to go for the Sacrament of Reconciliation. At the Sacrament of Reconciliation, it is Jesus who is forgiving your sins and cleaning our souls. It seems strange that, though we have easy access to the Sacrament of Reconciliation by just going to a priest, some of us seem to be slacking or procrastinating. Some of us seem to be content with going for the Sacrament of Reconciliation only once or twice a year, especially during the seasons of Advent and Lent. Does that mean we have managed to control ourselves to the point where we sin very little, or even managed not to sin at all? Or are we just being lazy and making all sorts of excuses not to go regularly? Remember that the Lord could call us at any time to give an account of our lives. May we not be caught unprepared, and through our own neglect, cause us to lose our eternal reward.

Act of Contrition: A Requirement in the Sacrament of Reconciliation

A person must have a contrite heart for the sacrament of Reconciliation to be effective. A contrite heart expresses repentance, without which there can be no forgiveness of sin. Thus, the act of contrition was formulated to express the thoughts of such a contrite heart. It is a requirement of the Sacrament.

When people go for confession, some may have forgotten how to recite the "Act of Contrition" prayer. It is best if people can recite this prayer from the heart, but for those of us who are becoming less able to remember things, here are some "Act of Contrition" prayers to recite. You may wish to write one down or print it out for you to keep and bring around, so that it is convenient for you to take it out and recite when you go for confession.

In English (Choose one only)

1. O, my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended you. I detest all my sins because of your just punishment, but most of all because they offend you, my God, who are all-good and deserving of all my love. I firmly resolve, with the help of Your grace, to sin no more and to avoid the near occasion of sin.
2. O My God, I am very sorry that I have sinned against you; Because you are so good and with your help I will not sin again.

In BM (This prayer is for BM-speaking Catholics only) (Pilih satu sahaja)

1. Allah yang Maharahim, aku menyesal atas dosa-dosaku, sebab patut aku Engkau hukum, terutama sebab aku telah menghina Engkau yang Mahamurah dan Mahabaik bagiku. Aku benci akan segala dosaku dan berjanji dengan pertolongan rahmat-Mu hendak memperbaiki hidupku dan tidak akan berbuat dosa lagi. Ya Allah, kasihanilah aku, orang yang berdosa ini. Amin.
2. Allahku, dengan seluruh hatiku aku menyesali dosa-dosaku. Dengan berbuat jahat aku lalai untuk berbuat baik. Aku telah berdosa terhadap Engkau, yang seharusnya kucintai di atas segala-galanya. Dengan bantuan-Mu aku berjanji untuk tidak berdosa lagi, untuk bertobat, dan menghindari apa saja yang dapat menjerumuskan aku ke dalam dosa. Amin.

In Mandarin (选一个)

1. 天主，为了我所犯的一切罪过，和我应做而没有尽到的本分，我全心痛悔，因为我得罪了你，极仁慈的天主。现在，依靠你圣宠的助佑，我决心悔改，善作补赎，愿永远生活在您的爱里。阿门。
2. 我的天主，我的慈父，我犯罪得罪了您，很觉惭愧，也真心痛悔。 因为我辜负了您的慈爱，妄用了您的恩宠。 我今定志，宁死再不得罪您，并尽力躲避犯罪的机会，我的天主，求您垂怜我，宽赦我。阿门。
3. 主，耶稣基督，你是除免世罪的天主羔羊，求你籍着神的恩宠，恢复我与圣父间的关系；在你为我所流的圣血中，洗净我的一切罪污；并为你圣名的光荣，赐给我新生。阿门。
4. 吾主耶稣，基利斯督，造我养我，救我的主。 我重罪人，得罪天主。 今特为爱天主在万有之上，真心痛悔，恼恨我罪，决意定改，宁死再不敢犯天主的诫命，恳望吾主，念尔受难之功，可怜赦我的罪。阿门。

Advent or Lent Penitential Service: Some Observations

During each Advent or Lent Penitential Service, several matters keep cropping up and I feel it is necessary to take heart:

1. Come early. Some priests come from quite a distance and if that priest is the one you are comfortable going to, coming late means you might "miss" him. Moreover, coming early gives you more time to prepare yourself to make a good confession.

2. If you have young children with you, please get your spouse or someone you can trust to keep an eye on them and hold on to them if necessary so that you and others can make a good confession in peace. Some young children may be hyperactive and start running around, which may cause distraction to others who are praying or reflecting.

3. Be brief when confessing. The priest wants to hear your sins, not the elaborate historical background to what led you to sin.

4. Confess your sins, not other people's. Some folks come for confession and start complaining about their husband, wife, children, etc. The priest is not interested in listening to your gossip.

5. Reflect carefully before going for confession. In this way, you can discover what sins you committed, especially serious ones.

6. Stay calm and focused. Don't get distracted with other matters before, during and after confession.

7. Be courteous. This is especially important when parking your vehicle or waiting your turn for confession. Don't cause other people to sin due to your behaviour or attitude. For example, when you arrive, park your vehicle properly as there may be other people coming later. Some folks have double-parked or parked indiscriminately and caused others to fume in disgust.

8. Remember the procedure. If you cannot remember how to make a good confession, the priest will guide you. However, it is better to know what to do and what to say, so that the confession can go on smoothly, instead of holding up other people.

9. Try to control your emotions. We know that some of you may cry due to feelings of guilt, embarrassment, etc. But the confessional is not meant to be a counselling session. I have seen some people come, and while confessing start raining down buckets. If you are experiencing such strong emotions, it may be better and necessary that you seek counselling later.

10. After confession and spending some time in prayer, leave peacefully. Don't loiter around the church too long, especially where parking space is limited, so that others can park and go for confession.

There may be other issues not mentioned in this list, but we hope that all faithful would take note so that the Advent or Lent Penitential Service could proceed smoothly for the spiritual growth and betterment of all..

The Ten Commandments: A Refresher - Introduction

Some of us may have forgotten or are unsure what the 10 commandments mean. So, to help these folks, here is a summary of the 10 commandments to help us especially in preparation for the sacrament of confession.

1. I am the Lord your God, you shall have no strange gods besides me
2. You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain
3. Remember to keep holy the Lord’s day
4. Honour your father and your mother
5. You shall not kill
6. You shall not commit adultery
7. You shall not steal
8. You shall not bear false witness
9. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife
10. You shall not covet your neighbor’s goods

If you look closely, the 10 commandments can be broken into only 2, loving God (the first 3 commandments) and loving each other (the remaining 7 commandments) (Matthew 22:37-40). In giving us the Ten Commandments God is not trying to take away our fun or our freedom. Instead He’s showing us how we were meant to live. So, if God is inviting us to live right, let us then live right and grow in relationship with Him and with others around us.

Confess at Confession, Not Gossip

At times, there are some people who come to confession and when they begin, instead of confessing their sins, they start to confess other people's sins, or sometimes, they even start blaming other people for causing them to sin. They talk about what their husband, wife, children, parents, in-laws, out-laws, etc. have done; they talk about their colleagues at work or their boss; but they seem to be unable to talk about the sins they have committed. Some of them even say that they are the victim and others are being mean or unfair. This behaviour and attitude is merely gossip, where one tries to justify oneself and being self-righteous.

Confession is not an avenue for people to complain or grumble about other people but to humbly and repentantly seek forgiveness from God. Perhaps one should look clearly at oneself instead of being so quick to accuse others, as Jesus reminded us:

“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye. (Matthew 7:1-5 or Luke 6:41-42)."

Are some of us becoming so insensitive to our own sins and take delight in accusing others? Do we value the Sacrament of Reconciliation, or have we become indifferent to its true value?

How to Make A Confession: Some Helpful Steps

Many a times, I find some people coming for confession without having a clue about how to make a confession with a priest. I am not speaking about examination of conscience here, but about the procedure during the confession itself.

Perhaps it would be helpful if we refresh our memory on how it is done, especially if there are among us who have not been regular in going for confession.

1. Begin by making the sign of the cross, then say: “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It is (or has been) …………weeks (or months, or years) since my last confession."

Note:  Often I see people coming for confession and omitting this step. Your parish priest or the priest hearing your confession would need to know when was the last time you made a confession so he can later advise you accordingly.

2. Say: "These are my sins." Then confess your sins. Do not hide anything. Let it all out but there is no need to go into too much detail, unless the priest feels it is necessary. For example, if you committed adultery, just say you committed adultery and say how many times it happened (once, twice, etc.). There is no need to go into the nitty gritty details such as how you did it, with whom, location, how you felt, how the other person felt, etc.

3. When you are finished, tell the priest you are sorry for your sins and ask for forgiveness for those sins as well as any you may have forgotten to confess.

4. The priest will then advise you accordingly.

5. The priest will then give you a penance to perform and will ask you to say the Act of Contrition. A simple form of the Act of Contrition is:

O My God, I am very sorry that I have sinned against you; Because you are so good and with your help I will not sin again.

6. The priest will absolve you of your sins through a prayer ending with words similar to this: “I absolve you of your sins in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.”  Make the sign of the cross as he does this.

7. The priest will then dismiss you by saying some variation of “go in peace.”  Reply, “Thanks be to God” and exit the confessional.