Pulling One’s Weight Around?

Recently, I came across some persons who requested for a funeral to be celebrated for a relative who passed away while working at a distant place, and the immediate next of kin of the deceased happened to have recently moved from another town to the present town where the parish I am presently ministering to is situated. The deceased had never set foot in the present town where the parish I am ministering to is situated, and the deceased, I am told, went to another parish in a different town whenever the deceased returned from that distant place to visit the grandmother.

At first, I was a little hesitant to have the funeral celebrated, since I knew nothing about the deceased, as the deceased had no other connection with the present town other than only the next of kin who had recently moved to the present town. However, after speaking to a relative of the deceased, who sought my help, and upon getting some assurance from the relative concerning some spiritual background of the deceased, I then acceded to granting a funeral Mass. However, I was quite taken aback, when I received a call from my assistant, who was quite stunned, confused and puzzled as to why he was being dragged into a matter which he knew nothing about. It seems that certain individuals linked to the deceased had complained to the parish priest of a parish of that distant place, allegedly stating that my assistant had refused a funeral Mass, and that parish priest then complained to my assistant concerning such a refusal; but the fact of the matter was that a funeral Mass had been granted, and the whole matter had nothing to do with my assistant.

Moreover, I was quite shocked and disappointed when I received a call from a parish priest of another parish located in another town quite some distance away, asking if there was some way burial could be permitted for the deceased at the cemetery of the parish of the present town. Such request had been denied, and the relative I had spoken to understood and agreed, that the cemetery was reserved only for folks belonging to the parish of the present town, as that was the intention of the donor of the cemetery. It seems that other relatives of the deceased were unhappy that the request had been denied, and apparently they were in disagreement with the terms and conditions concerning the cemetery, and they had the audacity to involve another parish priest of another parish located in another town quite some distance away, to try and intercede for their cause. Naturally, to preserve the original purpose of the cemetery, such a request coming from the other parish priest was also denied.

This makes me wonder... why do people not get the message when no means no, and when a request had been granted at a slightly later time, there is no need to jump the gun and create a ruckus, involving other parties? One should not think that one can pull strings and get their way, or try to pull their weight around, even if pulling such strings or weight would be not right or unjust. After all, surely some things could be granted after proper verification, and certain things cannot be granted, lest the trust concerning such things would be broken, should such demands be given in to.

Making Time or Demanding Time?

Some people can be strange creatures... first they ask for the priest to come to their house for house blessing, then when the priest is free to come on a weekday, either morning or noon or, where necessary, in the evening, such folks then say they are not free on weekdays. Then such folks say that they are only free on weekends, and some even say only towards the evening on weekends.

Then when the priest tells them that the weekend is a busy time for priests, as there are weddings, funerals and weekend Masses, such folks rant and rave and complain beyond complaining that the priest is not fair, or too busy for them, or not sensitive to their needs. When the priest is free to come to bless their house, they say it is not convenient for them, then when the priest is not free to come on a weekend for their convenience, they blame the priest for not making time for them.

Surely when it comes to house blessing, one should make effort to be available on a weekday, even if it is in the morning, noon or evening, instead of only wanting thing's according to one's convenience or according to one's way. This same scenario also applies to marriage preparation, where some couples seem so busy, that they seem "married" to their jobs. This makes me wonder... if a couple cannot find time for marriage preparation and to meet the priest for an interview, then how are they going to survive in their marriage?

Besides, if you think about it, if one's loved one or family member is elderly and sick, or in hospital, or requires confession and anointing of the sick, would one conveniently insist on having such anointing of the sick only on weekends? Surely one would do one's best to get the priest to give anointing of the sick as quickly as possible. If one could be so "hardworking" in getting the priest to give anointing of the sick as soon as possible, then why can't one be just as "hardworking" in making oneself available for house blessing and other matters?

At the end of the day, there needs to be some compromise and understanding on the availability of the priest for house blessing, marriage preparation, and other matters. Remember that the world does not revolve only around certain persons, and that the priest has other matters to attend to. Are some becoming so self-centered and demanding, or have we learnt to be more charitable and amicable in our attitudes, behaviour and conduct?