Baptism: An Analogy to our Faith

Have you ever noticed how infants behave when they are about to be baptised? Some of you may wonder: "But infants are infants. They either sleep, feed or cry. What are you getting at?" Well, actually if you observe infants and how they respond when you baptise them, we could get some insights about ourselves, as well as how and where we are in our faith.

Among the many infants I have baptised, the ones I find quite interesting are the little ones who look at you with those big eyes, as if they are looking with curiosity and wonder. When you baptise them, they do not make much of a fuss, and it is a joy to see the reaction of the parents, godparents and others present. Sometimes, I hear a little chuckle or happy sound coming from the infant. Perhaps the infant might have experienced the Lord's presence, or the feeling of being redeemed by the Lord.

The second kind of infants I encounter are those who cry like crazy when they are about to be baptised. It sounds as if they are saying: "NO! Don't give me that! I don't want! Leave me alone! Go away! Arrgh! Water is coming! No good!" Some of these infants may be crying for a good reason: perhaps it is hungry, or has soiled its diapers, or something might have happened, but wow can they make a fuss. Sometimes, the infant continues crying even after the baptism, and some even cry louder, appearing as if they are trying to voice their displeasure or throw a tantrum. It is interesting to see the response of the parents and other family members, doing their utmost best to calm the little one down, while possibly getting stressed and frazzled as well.

The third kind of infants are those who sleep through the baptism, or just open their eyes for a little while, and then go back to sleep. It is as if they are saying: "Mmmh? What's this? Oh? A bath? Some water to drink? Some... zzzzz." These infants seem to be oblivious about what is going on, and they can really sleep, even long after the baptism has been completed.

Now what does all these have to do with our faith? If I may make an analogy, our faith could be similar to those infants who are a joy while being baptised, or those infants who make so much fuss, or even those infants who seem sleepy and oblivious to what is happening. Some of us are like the first kind of infants, curious and full of wonder of our faith, and we joyfully find ways and means to find out more about our faith, as well as being willing and enthusiastic in sharing our faith with others, while building a relationship with God and with others. Some of us are like the second kind of infants, and we seem to only know how to complain or grumble. When we don't get what we want, we kick up a fuss and create a ruckus. Some even begin to leave and go to some other denomination or even follow a different faith, feeling angry or disillusioned when things don't go our way. Some of us are like the third kind of infants, looking sleepy and fed up, or not interested in or bothered about anything. When asked to help out, some may shy away or do without any interest or enthusiasm.

Perhaps we should take a good look at ourselves. Are we falling more into one of these "kind of infants"? Have we been like one kind or another at different times of our lives? When we were baptised, we were given the Holy Spirit. May we utilise the Holy Spirit in our lives, and with enthusiasm, joy and curiosity grow closer to God, while we grow in love and friendship with others. Baptism was the start of Jesus' ministry, and He showed us many examples of how we ought to fulfil our duty as Christians. Let us not delay and do our part, for the greater glory of God.

Titles and Styles of Addressing For Roman Catholic Hierarchy

Noticed that some folks seem to be getting the proper terms mixed up, especially when it comes to titles used for church hierarchy. Some of you may wonder why we need to be so kiasu or gan cheong about such titles, but for the sake of protocol and decorum, we may need to take note lah.

Also, this bit of write-up is not about the difference or similarities between a deacon, priest, bishop, archbishop, cardinal or pope. The differences and similarities would require a different write-up, so see how later. So...


When it comes to non-clergy - those not ordained by the bishop

Sr. - Sister

Br. or Bro. - Brother

Note that strictly speaking, Diocesan seminarians are technically not "br." or "bro." or "brother." We call them as such out of courtesy or politeness, but they are not "br." or "bro." or "brother" because they have not taken any religious vows. Well, some say that the Diocesans are informally and cheekily known as "OOO" (that's Oh... Oh... Oh... or triple "O") - since Diocesans do not belong to a particular Religious Order, so "OOO" = "Out Of Order", but that's a different story ;)

Seminarians, men or women belonging to Religious Orders or Congregations may be called Sr. or Br. or Bro., depending on whether they have taken any religious vows and also depending on the governance of the congregation or order (how the congregation or order is run). In such cases, when it comes to religious orders or congregations, it is best to check with the leader, or superior.


When it comes to clergy

Rev. Deacon - Reverend Deacon

Priest - Rev. Fr. (Reverend Father), or just "Fr", or some may informally say "padre"

Bishop - Rt. Rev. (Right Reverend)

When addressing the Bishop formally and directly, we usually say "Your Lordship"
For example: Your Lordship Bishop ???, distinguished guests, ladies and gentlemen

When addressing the Bishop formally from a third person perspective, we usually say "His Lordship"
For example: We now invite His Lordship Bishop ??? to come forth to give his opening address

Archbishop - Most Rev. (Most Reverend)

When addressing the Archbishop formally and directly, we usually say "Your Grace"
For example: Your Grace Archbishop ???, distinguished guests, ladies and gentlemen

When addressing the Archbishop formally from a third person perspective, we usually say "His Grace"
For example: We now invite His Grace Archbishop ??? to come forth to give his opening address

Cardinal - His/Your Eminence

When addressing the Cardinal formally and directly, we usually say "Your Eminence"
For example: Your Eminence ??? Cardinal ???, distinguished guests, ladies and gentlemen (for example, Luis Antonio G. Cardinal Tagle)

When addressing the Cardinal formally from a third person perspective, we usually say "His Eminence"
For example: We now invite His Eminence ??? Cardinal ??? to come forth to give his opening address

These are some of the more common titles used when addressing such folks. If you are not sure, it is best to check.

To Sponsor or not to Sponsor?

A Bit of Background

There was a time in the past where Christians were facing tremendous persecution from the Roman Empire, especially before the year 313 AD (313 AD was the year when the Edict of Milan declared the Roman Empire neutral towards religious views, in effect ending the persecution of Christians). Because of such persecution, it was necessary for Christians to be cautious of who they admitted into their community, as well as how they went about in their tasks. Also, at that time, the Sacraments of Initiation (i.e. baptism, holy Eucharist, and confirmation) were administered together (all one shot) instead of separately.

So, to watch their back and to filter out potential Roman nasties (spies or infiltrators - you wouldn't want a T-800 or T-1000 or T-X from the Terminator series kacauing right? Just kidding!) bent on exposing and getting them persecuted, Christians introduced the role of sponsors. The role of sponsor had several tasks:

1. To vouch for the adult being baptised (in other words, the sponsor testified that the bloke or the lass is a-ok and not a Roman nasty).
2. To assist the person during the catechumenate in preparing for the Sacraments of Initiation, and in living a Christian life.
3. To make the Profession of Faith in the child's name (in the case of infant baptism) and accept the responsibility of instructing the child in the faith, especially if the parents played hooky and did not do their duty in doing so.

Though nowadays we often identify the sponsor of a child for baptism as the godparent (godmother or godfather or sometimes, both), the actual term (betul-betul, original) remains "sponsor."


Sponsor - Some Preliminary Tots

Now that we have some background on "sponsors," we will need to look at some "undang-undang meriam - oops... undang-undang gereja." Canon Law (Can. 872) tells us "Insofar as possible, a person to be baptized is to be given a sponsor who assists an adult in Christian initiation or together with the parents presents an infant for baptism. A sponsor also helps the baptized person to lead a Christian life in keeping with baptism and to fulfill faithfully the obligations inherent in it. So whether you are a big buffalo or a small buffalo, you need a sponsor, not only to witness your baptism, but to "take care" or "jaga" you, in other words, to see that you are kuai kuai (乖乖) and be a good Catholic.

Canon Law (Can. 873) also reminds us "There is to be only one male sponsor or one female sponsor or one of each." The reason this is stated is because in some cultures, folks seem to think "the more the merrier," and they have so many sponsors. No need so many sponsors lah. One enough, but if you want 2 also can, just make sure one male and one female lah.


Criteria for the Responsibility. Don't Play Play.

So how do we determine who can become a sponsor? What sort of criteria should we look at? Once again, Canon Law (Can. 874 §1.) tells us:

To be permitted to take on the function of sponsor a person must:

1. Be designated by the one to be baptised, by the parents or the person who takes their place, or in their absence by the pastor or minister and have the aptitude and intention of fulfilling this function;
This basically means, either:
a. The one to be baptised OR
b. The parents or person acting as the parent OR
c. The pastor or minister
chooses a sponsor. The sponsor is not one simply or suka-suka assigned to the one to be baptised. The sponsor must be chosen carefully.
Also, note that the sponsor may be chosen, but he or she would still need to say "Yes" and accept being chosen, and not only that, he or she must have the right disposition to be chosen. If, for example, the sponsor feels that he or she has too many godchildren already, or for some other reason, the sponsor can still say "No" to being a sponsor. Don't play play... sponsor cannot be forced to be a sponsor one.

2. Have completed the sixteenth year of age, unless the diocesan bishop has established another age, or the pastor or minister has granted an exception for a just cause;
You must be at least 16 years old to be a sponsor, unless otherwise stated by the diocesan bishop, or the pastor or minister has good and valid reason to choose such a young of age sponsor.

3. Be a Catholic who has been confirmed and has already received the most holy sacrament of the Eucharist and who leads a life of faith in keeping with the function to be taken on;
Certainly not an easy criteria. Not only the sponsor needs to be baptised and confirmed as a Catholic, he or she also needs to live an exemplary life as a Catholic. Some examples of an exemplary life include: regularly attending Mass; regularly receiving Sacrament of Confession; good prayer life; active in church, especially in one or two church ministries; just some of the many examples.

4. Not be bound by any canonical penalty legitimately imposed or declared;
Canonical penalty includes a person who has been excommunicated from the church due to some serious reason; and many other penalties too numerous to discuss here. If you want to know more, see your parish priest and/or read up on BOOK VI : SANCTIONS IN THE CHURCH. Quite a lot to read, and may be a cure for insomnia for some, since the text is legal jargon and requires time and effort to understand well. Certainly not an easy read.

5. Not be the father or mother of the one to be baptized.
Your fudder and your mudder cannot be your sponsor. This also includes the legal guardian of the one being baptised. Go laa and find someone else. Surely can find one.

§2. A baptized person who belongs to a non-Catholic ecclesial community is not to participate except together with a Catholic sponsor and then only as a witness of the baptism.
Christians who are not Catholics cannot be a sponsor, since they are not of the same Catholic faith, and do not share the same Catholic understanding of confirmation, Holy Sacrament of the Eucharist, and who leads a Catholic life of faith. These Christians can still be a witness to the baptism, no worries.


Conclusion

So you see, finding a sponsor for your child's baptism or the baptism of an adult (whether it is your spouse, a non-baptised parent, or some other adult) is not so easy. Being a sponsor is also not so easy or kacang (in other word, not a walk in the park). You are a sponsor not for fun, since you also need to walk the talk and show by good example. May we be careful who we choose as a sponsor, so that the child or adult being baptised would have a good companion to journey with, as he or she progresses in the Catholic faith.

Planning to Get Married? Sure or Not?

When a couple comes to see a priest when they are planning to get married, there are several questions which may normally be asked. Among the many questions asked, some are quite important or crucial, since such questions would help determine whether the couple is really ready for marriage. In other words, whether the couple is approaching their graduation to earn a degree in "paktorlogy" or not ("paktorlogy" is a Chinese-like word roughly translated as dating with intention and hope of eventually tying the knot). Since some questions may be confidential or sensitive in nature, I will mention only some which should be thought about before the couple goes to see the priest. Other questions may be asked, and some questions would require a response without any prior preparation (so as to ensure that the couple answers genuinely and truthfully, without any coercion or 'kacauing' (interference or disturbing) from other parties who may be trying to ensure the marriage takes place, come what may):

1. How long have you known each other
Sounds like a strange question, isn't it? But very necessary, since some couples have known each other only for a very short time. Some couples, from past experience, have known each other only for a month or even less, especially through the internet or one of those social media thingys. If a couple knows each other only for a short time, would you honestly think they would be able to live together till death do us part, especially these days where situations, attitudes and environment have changed? If the couple has not known each other for a reasonable period (say about a year or longer), how are they going to "tahan" or stand each other for the rest of their lives? Insufficient knowledge of each other could lead to surprises, sometimes attitudes and habits which could cause serious problems and difficulties.

2. Why do you want to get married?
Another strange question, but surprisingly, some couples have not even thought about such a question carefully. Don't rush into marriage unless you have seriously and honestly thought about this question. One common answer given is "because I love him or I love her." But why do you love him or her? In some situations, the couple is being coerced into marriage due to some family reason (including the possibility of "shotgun" - not "senapang" but a different meaning, some of you may understand ;)  - a hint... something to do with "a bun in the oven" or "roti dalam ketuhar")

3. Have the couple made preparations spiritually?
Some couples are so "kan cheong (緊張)," or nervous, or worried, or concerned, or kiasu about making sure they get:
a. The nicest 4 or 5 star hotel
b. The nicest wedding photos
c. The nicest wedding lunch and/or dinner
d, The nicest wedding apparel (some brides especially want to wear stylo-milo or shockalingam wedding dress, without considering the suitability of such clothing especially in church; or whether the dress is suitable for the climate, without undesirable consequences; or whether the dress or "baju" can fit properly or not, without disastrous consequences).
e. The nicest honey-moon location
f. The nicest whatever.
But how many couples have actually taken the trouble or effort to prepare for their wedding spiritually. Have they been regular in their confessions, participating at Mass, spending time in prayer, some form of spiritual direction with a priest or religious sister (if the girl feels more comfortable talking to another "girl")? How many couples have taken the trouble to prepare for a proper church wedding, including the date, time, readings, hymns, etc? How many couples are seriously putting God as the center of their lives?

4. Are the couple prepared for married life, both physically and financially?
Sounds strange, but some couples may be getting into marriage without realising potential health issues (some of which may emerge or appear a little too late, after the wedding), or that they do not have sufficient funds to support each other and the children that they may have. Many marriages have ended in the rocks because of insufficient preparation for these. Health related matters could be discovered by going for a thorough medical examination, and one should consider the cost of the wedding, as well as the cost of supporting a family. While some couples may want to have a grand wedding with all the bells and whistles, it does not seem wise to start a marriage in serious debt, or with serious shocking health issues which one may not have taken into consideration, right?

5. Are the couple communicating well?
I have seen some couples spending a lot of time using their hand-phones, android tablet, iPad or some other fancy gadget to communicate with each other (through sms, whatsapp, Facebook, Viber or some other messaging app), but are they making much effort to communicate with each other face to face? All these gadgets and gizmos are fine, but face-to-face communication is necessary, as one could pick up body language, visual, voice and other cues better. Also, are the couple making effort to resolve issues together, prior to getting into marriage? If the couple is not able to see eye to eye on small issues, just imagine what would happen when a bigger or serious issue arises? Would the marriage survive? Would the couple remain faithful and committed to each other? Communication is very important, since the couple would need to deal with many matters together. It is no longer a "sdn. bhd." or "personal" thing. It is a "together" thing. And this together thing is for life.

6. Interference from In-laws and Out-laws
Are the parents being, well, too "parently" or too involved with the couple's life (in other words, are the in-laws and/or out-laws being too interfering with the the couple's matters)? If every single matter the couple has to turn to daddy or mummy for approval or consultation, how to survive as a couple laa. Are you getting married to the man or the woman, or are you getting "married" to the whole extended household? I remember one incident where the couple came to see me in my office for initial marriage preparation, accompanied by their "kaum kerabat" or entourage of father, mother, sister, brother, grandfather, grandmother, uncle, auntie, and God knows who else. I immediately inquired: "Wah! So many people want to get married aah?" Immediately, the whole jingbang of in-laws and out-laws left, so that I could speak to the couple without interference or interruption. A word of advice... your son or daughter is already old enough to make his or her own decisions... he or she is already a "big buffalo" laa... Let him or her do what he or she needs to do laa ;) :p :D

7. Spouse of Different Faith
If your spouse is of a different faith, are you prepared to live with him or her, while ensuring that you do not abandon the Catholic faith? There are other implications on this, which the priest will advise the couple, so one needs to consider the challenges of living with another not of the same faith. It can be done, and it has worked out for many. Just need to be well informed and prepared, with the help of the parish priest and Catholic community.

So, as you can see, planning to get married is not a walk in the park. It requires one to make proper and thorough preparations, so that one could stay married for life. My professor in the seminary used to tell us: "A marriage is: one and two, super glue." Once, you are stuck, you remain stuck to each other for life. Don't get married unless you know what you are getting yourself into. Some folks have told me that sometimes, a marriage may involve 4 rings: engagement ring, wedding ring, suffering and enduring. It does not necessary have to be like that, and it does not have to be always that way, if one does the necessary preparations, with God's help.

Of course, this list is not exhaustive, since there are many other matters and elements to consider. But these are perhaps some of the more important matters to consider. That is why couples are seriously encouraged and expected to see the parish priest at least 6 months prior to the wedding. Don't go and prepare everything else then only see the parish priest. See the parish priest first. Once the initial preparations, interviews and guidance have been made, then only go to town with the other stuff. The parish priest is not interested in making your life difficult. He is only trying to help you be prepared for marriage in every way possible. Remember, a wedding is only a moment in time, a marriage is for a life time. Don't play play with getting married, but be good and be ready for the ride of a lifetime.

Christmas Carol or Christmas Song?

Some of us may still be confusing the difference between Christmas carols and Christmas songs, especially when we are going around spreading the joy of Christmas in our neighbourhood, community, or even church (including the times we go around Christmas carolling). While the two are "supposingly" about Christmas, their wording and purpose are actually quite different.

Christmas carols contain wording concerning the birth of Jesus Christ and some description of the Nativity, including key figures surrounding or concerning the Nativity scene. There are many traditional Christmas carols which may have not been sung for quite some time, and surely through sufficient practice, one could learn how to sing them well.

Christmas songs, on the other hand, are generally secular in nature, and concern more about stuff like Santa Claus, Christmas trees, Winter, Snow and other similar topics. Quite often, such songs are used to promote a secular and "materialistic" idea of Christmas, especially in shopping malls trying to cash in on the season. A classic example would be songs containing the words "white Christmas," "sleigh ride," and "snow." Even if there is an attempt to promote the feeling of Christmas, would such songs actually convey the true meaning of Christmas, that is the birth of our Lord Jesus Christ? Also, would such words really and honestly mean anything to people who are in the tropics or where Christmas is during summer time? (For example, in Australia, Christmas is summer time in December).

So, as Christians, perhaps we should relook at what we are singing. Are we singing about Jesus, His Nativity, and important scenes and figures surrounding or concerning His birth? Or are we singing merely about the season of Christmas, something of a "feel good" experience, without having anything to do with Jesus? What then is the true meaning and focus of Christmas?

Receiving Holy Communion - Some Observations

It is interesting to observe how some folks receive Holy Communion. Every once in a while, I remind the faithful that one should receive Holy Communion in a proper way. Whether one receives Holy Communion on the tongue or by hand, these are some observations for your attention:

Receiving Holy Communion on the hand

1. Some people receive Holy Communion with only one hand. Would you receive a gift with only one hand? Not very polite aye?
2. Some people receive Holy Communion with the fingers of the right hand shaped like the open beak of a baby bird calling out for food. Cheeep cheeep cheeep.
3. Some people receive Holy Communion but their hands are dirty or soiled. Surely one should have ensured that one's hands are clean before coming for Mass.

The proper way is to receive Holy Communion with your left hand on top and your right hand beneath your left hand. Then you pick up the Holy Communion host with your right hand fingers and place the Holy Communion host in your mouth.

Receiving Holy Communion on the tongue

1. Some people receive Holy Communion on the tongue, but they stick their teeth out like Jaws. There have been several instances where the poor padre had his fingers bitten when the person closed his or her mouth and the teeth bit into the padre's fingers. Ow! The agony.
2. Some people receive Holy Communion on the tongue, but their tongue sticks out like a lizard's tongue, so quick and yucky, especially when the tongue touches the padre's fingers. It went shhooop... like a lizard catching a meal.
3. Some people receive Holy Communion on the tongue, but they do not stick out their tongue a little longer or open their mouth a little wider. This sometimes causes the Holy Communion host to accidentally fall from the mouth and into the clothing. There have been instances where the person is a lady, well-endowed and wearing a low cut dress. Guess where the Holy Communion host fell in between? The padre certainly did not want to touch that place and asked the lady to hunt for the Holy Communion host herself. Aiyoyoyo! Mamma mia!

The proper way to receive Holy Communion with the tongue is to open your mouth wider a little, stick out the tongue a little more, so that the padre could place the Holy Communion host towards the center or back of the tongue. That way the Holy Communion host would less likely fall out of the mouth and end up at unmentionable or undesirable places.

Evangelising through Music

Music is a powerful form of evangelising today, especially among our youths. This is because our youths are more receptive and inclined towards listening, singing and remembering songs, and it is through many of these songs, both old and new, that we receive teaching, our minds being exercised along with our hearts. God reaches our hearts through our minds. As Paul said, “Let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will know what God wants you to do, and you will know how good and pleasing and perfect his will really is” (Rom 12:2). 

So how do we fully utilise music to evangelise? First of all, we have bible verses which can be memorised through a catchy song. This is often used to teach young children through repetition of the verse until they can sing from memory. By doing so, these children would have learnt much of the bible by the time they are teenagers. Knowing the bible well leads to knowing Jesus better and His command to go out to proclaim the Good News.

For youths, due to their energetic and impressionable ways, perhaps musical plays concerning the life of Christ, the life of a saint, a story based on a passage from the bible, or even a story which reflects a Christian virtue or Christian life situation could be meaningful. This is because such musical plays give our youth an opportunity to express themselves both visually and audibly, while proclaiming a Christian message to the audience. Furthermore, since many of our youth can be influenced by their peers, inviting and encouraging the older youth to participate in such musical plays could encourage the younger ones to tag along and become involved, because they see their friends taking part and would not want to be left out. Some examples I recall are the Witness, which is about the life of Jesus; and The Choice, which is about the life of a Roman Centurion who later became a Christian when he had a conversion experience upon witnessing the passion and resurrection of the Lord Jesus. 

Youth concerts and rallies, where a lot of Christian music is played and sung, are also another form of evangelising. When our youth bring their non-Christian friends along, the charged atmosphere and powerful songs soon lead our young friends to their feet, singing, clapping, cheering and dancing away. Of course, this would need to be followed up by keeping in touch and using other forms of evangelisation, such as providing reading material and personal testimonies from other youths, so that the Gospel message can be experienced and learnt.

Music workshops for youths and other interested parties could be a great way to evangelisation. People could be invited first to have a jamming session with their Christian friends and hopefully, they may become more interested in Christianity, as the join the fun in playing and singing Christian songs. 

In this age of the internet, using a website is also a powerful means of evangelising; more so if Christian music is promoted on the website. Through such a website, people from all over the world can gain access to such songs, listen to them, and perhaps through the meaningful words and lovely melodies, they too may become interested to know more about the Christian faith. This is made even more effective when some basic Catholic teaching is included in the website, enabling visitors to read something about the Catholic faith while listening to the songs.

Even hand phones and MP3 players so commonly used these days can be deployed as a form of evangelising. How so? By using ring tones in the form of Christian songs, since many hand phones nowadays support complex polyphony features, someone just might get inspired to enquire more about that ring tone and the Christian can then introduce the other person to Jesus. Friends could share the earphone plug of an MP3 player with another friend who may not be a Christian, and this could lead to further enquiries about the Christian song being played, especially if it is a catchy or “cool” tune, and further evangelisation could occur. 

Through singing the story of Jesus, singing what we believe and sharing the Christian music we enjoy, we give people a context for living. As we relive the coming of Christ into the world, our own lives make sense. In worship and song we see ourselves on the continuum of time – we live for the here and now, with an eye for the future.