傅油圣事的事情

这是经常发生的事情：有些教友在亲人病危时，也就是说在最后一分钟才通知本堂神父， 要求给病人傅油。我希望教友们能体谅神父。假如能在病人入院前或入院后立即通知神父为病人傅油，那不是更好？以前，曾经有些教友认为病人傅油是给病人办理临终仪式，（让病人安然回天国），但是现在的傅油圣事目的是祈求天主保佑及治愈病人，让他们你能早日复原，病好。当然，在紧急时通知神父是情有可原的。然而，一些教友已经知道病人的情况，在入院前或入院后还慢条斯理的不请神父替病人傅油，非等到最后一分钟才通知神父不可。

神父们恰巧在当时没有空，而病人已魂归天国时，他们就埋怨神父不负责任，大声责备他们，更有一些疯狂的教友威胁要打神父。唉，最后一分钟才通知，难道神父会飞吗？因此希望教友能体谅神父，尽早通知他们，以免错过大好的机会。

有些教友只请会讲某种语言的神父去替病人傅油，如果不是他们所要的特定神父，那么他们就不高兴。要知道任何一位神父都有资格替病人傅油而不是本堂神父而已。希望教友们秉着知恩图报的心理，感谢天主，至少有位神父替病人傅油，难道傅油不是更重要吗？ 不要无理取闹了。

曾经有一位教友要特定会讲某种语言的神父替他的母亲傅油。但是该为神父没有空，要求我替他办事，而我也刚好那时走不开，就请了另一位神父代替。过后该教友感到非常不愉快，埋怨本堂神父不负责任。结果他一气之下，致函给主教投诉该本堂神父。我心里想该位教友居心何在？不但没感恩，没有礼貌，没有常理，而只顾投诉！

我想教友们对傅油圣事应该有正确的观点和态度。假如病人已经领了傅油圣事，那么应该感恩，不要执意要本堂神父或是会讲某种语言者！你们难道认为本堂神父或是会讲某种特定语言的才是有效或合法的办傅油圣事吗？希望教友懂得分别两者之间---傅油圣事和特定神父，孰轻孰重？

Observations Concerning Anointing of the Sick

It is a perpetual issue, where some inform the priests of the parish only at the very last minute for anointing of the sick, instead of informing earlier, if possible prior to the person being hospitalised, or as soon as the person is hospitalised. Perhaps some think that anointing of the sick means the person anointed would quite likely 'balik kampung' (pass away) shortly after anointing; "extreme unction" as what it was once called. But this is no longer the case, as anointing can be given earlier, asking God to care for the person and heal him or her. I can understand if it is an emergency and the priest is informed at such short notice, but I refer to those who know jolly well that their loved one is hospitalised or about to be hospitalised, and they take their own sweet time to inform a priest, or only inform when the loved one is almost about to 'balik kampung.'

When the priest is unable to make it in time, and the person 'balik kampung' (passes away), then some begin to blame the priest for not being there to give the anointing, and the priest is "whacked" or verbally abused, and in some situations, even to the extent of being physically threatened. Hello! Last minute inform, you think the priest can fly? Be realistic and reasonable... inform early instead of informing at your convenience.

Also, some expect a priest of a certain language group to come give anointing, even though the priest is not available at that time, and other priests who may not be able to speak that particular language, could still give the anointing. This has led to anger and ill feelings among some, but what they should realise is that anointing is anointing, regardless of which priest administers it. Instead of stubbornly and vehemently demanding that a priest of a particular language group come, they should be glad and thankful that at least there is a priest to come give the anointing.

Also, some seem to think that they are entitled to having only the priests of the parish come and give anointing. When the priests of the parish are unavailable at that time, and a priest from another parish has been asked to give the anointing, such entitled persons scream and shout and get very angry that the priests of the parish are not able to come in person to give the anointing. The fact is, at least a priest has been arranged to give the anointing. Isn't that what is more important, that the person who is sick receives anointing?

I recall one situation among many, where a particular parishioner of a particular language group, had requested that a priest who could speak that particular language, go anoint the parishioner's mother. The priest who could speak that particular language was not free at that time, and he asked me whether I could go. At that time, I too was tied up with an urgent matter, and I called a priest in a different parish for help. Fortunately, that priest was free and he went to anoint the parishioner's mother. After that, the parishioner was so upset that neither the other priest nor me were free to go anoint the mother, and this parishioner had the audacity and gall to write a nasty letter complaining to the Archbishop about this matter. I was aghast at such attitude, wondering what has become of courtesy, common sense and gratitude.

Perhaps some of us need to look at ourselves and our attitudes towards anointing of the sick. If your loved one has received anointing of the sick from a priest, then you should be thankful and grateful to God. Why become so petty or have a sense of entitlement that a priest of a certain language group must come, or even more baffling, only the priests of the parish must come? Does it mean that only the priests of the parish is halal (permissible or lawful), and other priests are haram (forbidden, illegal or unlawful)? Shouldn't we learn to appreciate that at least a priest has come to anoint your loved one? Which is more important... the anointing received by a priest, or fulfilling one's demands and expectations of having a particular priest come to give the anointing?

BO and MO during Confession?

Among the many challenges a padre has to put up with when it comes to confession, one which is just as potent and potentially pengsan-able (slang in Malay for likely a cause for one to faint) is the whole matter of BO and MO. In case you do not know what those acronyms are, BO is body odour, and MO is mouth odour. At times, the BO and/or the MO could be quite overwhelming, and some of us may need to look away, not because we do not like the penitent, but because direct inhalement of such "perfume" could result in temporary lost of attention and temporary deprivation of senses.

Sometimes, the cocktail of chemicals emanating from the BO and MO is excruciating, almost similar to traces of malathion, or even similar to the stuff used to fog away mosquitoes, and such "fragrance" could remain in the near-surrounding atmosphere for quite a while, necessitating in temporary interruption of operations, before the next penitent could be beckoned.

Seeing how such interruptions could lead to further delays in attending to many other souls looking to "cuci kolam" ("clean the pool," as what a certain "mother superior" likes to say, referring to confession), I implore such persons affected to have a heart and do something to make such scents a little less obvious. A "scent"-free environment would really help enable the process of reconciliation to be carried out smoothly, for the good of all.

Mother Tongue

"What's your mother tongue?" I sometimes get this question from friends and others, who are curious as to why I was previously not able to speak Mandarin, and am unable to speak in other Chinese dialects (unless, of course, one wishes to include "flowery language" in Hokkien or Hakka, which I happen to know some - censored, cannot say here wan). Some folks even classified me as OCBC or banana... in case you are wondering what those words mean, OCBC is not the bank, but "Orang Cina Bukan Cina", a not so pleasant way of saying: "a Chinese who cannot speak "Chinese"." Banana means, yellow at the outside, and white in the inside, implying a Chinese who has become westernised and cannot speak Chinese.

Actually, if you look at the word "mother tongue", I believe a better way of looking at the term would be: the language that your mother taught you from the time you were an infant. In that aspect, I would unequivocally and categorically deduce that, given the circumstances, my mother tongue would certainly and definitely be "English" and not just any "English" but "British English."

In case you haven't got the faintest idea what I just wrote, let's put it in Malaysian English: "So aaa... my mother tongue is English yaa... ok? understand? Good... Dei... let's go tapau some nasi lemak and chee cheong fun. Or you prefer to eat in? Either way boleh."

So as you can see, I was previously not able to speak Chinese dialects, including Mandarin, as I had little exposure, coming from a family which speaks English at home. It was only when I went off to Taiwan that I picked up, with some success, Mandarin, not just any Mandarin, but Taiwanese Mandarin (chei wah... action wan ah). Then back here in Malaysia, I came to realise that Taiwanese Mandarin does not jive so well with some of our local folks here, since some words are different in pronunciation. After some challenging adjustments, I learnt to convert, with some mixed success, to Malaysian Mandarin. Of course, there are some side effects to such conversion. My friends in Taiwan tell me that my Mandarin has deteriorated from their level, but at the very least, folks here have some idea what I am saying, if you know what I am saying

So there you have it! My mother tongue has always been English. I learnt Mandarin in Taiwan, and Bahasa Malaysia in school, so be kind ya, if I end up going back to English. Hard disk cannot process and translate to other language so quickly (unless, of course, if I translate to BM, which I am quite ok with). Sekian, harap dimaklumkan (That's all folks!)

O... O... O...?

Sometimes, people come to me and ask whether I belong to a particular religious order, like SJ, CDD, OFM, OFM cap, OCD, CSSR, etc.

For those of you who do not know what those acronyms mean:

SJ - Society of Jesus a.k.a. The Jesuits

CDD - Congregatio Discipulorum Domini a.k.a. Congregation of the Disciples of the Lord

OFM - Ordo Fratum Minorum a.k.a. Order of Franciscans Minor or Franciscan Friars

OFM cap - Ordo Fratrum Minorum Capuccinorum a.k.a. Order of Capuchin Friars

OCD - Order of Discalced Carmelites

CSSR - Congregation of the Most Holy Redeemer or The Redemptorists

I am not from any particular Religious Order as I am a Diocesan priest. That means I serve in a parish in a particular diocese (in this case, Kuala Lumpur Archdiocese).

However, some still ask whether diocesan priests have got some sort of initial like the religious priests, brothers and sisters do. The short answer to this question is NO. But an elderly padre who once taught us in the seminary did share with us that diocesan priests have got a hidden "sort of initial" which we don't normally mention. The padre shared that diocesan priests are known "unofficially" as "OOO" (that's 'oh oh oh' and not 3 zeros).

Anyone knows what "OOO" means?

In case you did not know, "OOO" means: Out Of Order!

Since Diocesan priests do not belong to an "Order" or a Religious Order, they are therefore "Out of Order"

Retreat or Formation? 避靜或培訓?

Some folks mix up retreat and formation. They seem to think that retreat is formation and formation is retreat. However, they are not the same. To make it simple, a retreat is time we spend with the Big Big Boss (preferably in silence and solitude) for a certain period, usually a few days, a week, or even a month. Formation, on the other hand, is for our intellectual growth, with hope that this would lead us to spiritual growth. When we are on retreat, we should not be too concerned about receiving input. Rather, we ought to spend more time listening to the Big Big Boss voice. In our world today, we are distracted by so many types of noise. As a result, we may have become less and less sensitive to the promptings from our Big Big Boss.

有些人混淆了[避靜]和[培訓]的分别.他們似乎都認为[避靜]就是[培訓],[培訓]就是[避靜].但它們是不一样的.简单的说,[避静]是我們花一段时间与天主(大大老板)单独沈静地相处,通常会是几天,一个星期,甚至是一个月.但是[培訓]从另一面耒说是增强我們智力的成長.但当我們在[避静]时,我們不要太在意输入,相反的我們应該花多一点时间去呤听天主(大大老板)的声音.在现今的世界里,我們可能已变得越來越少去感受天主(大大老板)的提示.

Conditional or Unconditional Generosity?

Has it ever occurred to you why some of us are offering our time, talents and wealth to the church? I have observed that in some cases, it is because of the kind of relationship persons are experiencing that some would be more or less generous. For example, a priest or a leader is friendly and caring to the people, and because some experience such friendliness and care, they are willing and happy to offer more. But when a priest or leader is less friendly or caring, then what happens, would people be still as generous?

Relationship is what many of us long for, but I wonder if that should be one factor of how generous one should be. When we speak of offering and being generous to the church, what are we really meaning here? Are we generous with the condition that we would be loved and well-treated in return? Do we expect to get something out of what we give, or could we give unconditionally? Does it mean that being a Christian means there are terms and conditions attached for our benefit?

This is where, perhaps, we need to ask ourselves: God gave us His son Jesus, freely, unconditionally, to save all of us from our sins. Jesus came not to save only a certain few, or only those who are good or kind, or according to certain terms and conditions, as salvation is offered to all. It is up to us to accept or reject this free offer of salvation, and if we reject it, we cannot turn around and say that we did not have a choice. If God’s generosity knows no bounds, then why are some of us generous with bounds, whereby for some of us, generosity is based on what we can get out of it in return?

We must remember that priests and leaders come and go, and that at the end of the day, our generosity ought to be to build God’s Kingdom and to glorify Him, not for our personal gratification or to maintain a feel-good environment. Our generosity is not going to end up only in a certain priest or leader’s pocket, or only for the benefit of a certain priest or leader; but our generosity would be used ultimately for the good of the church. If we are mindful of this, then surely we should ponder how generous we really are, and do what is right and just for the good of the church and to assist in its mission.