Tuesday, 30 October 2018

Pulling One’s Weight Around?

Recently, I came across some persons who requested for a funeral to be celebrated for a relative who passed away while working at a distant place, and the immediate next of kin of the deceased happened to have recently moved from another town to the present town where the parish I am presently ministering to is situated. The deceased had never set foot in the present town where the parish I am ministering to is situated, and the deceased, I am told, went to another parish in a different town whenever the deceased returned from that distant place to visit the grandmother.

At first, I was a little hesitant to have the funeral celebrated, since I knew nothing about the deceased, as the deceased had no other connection with the present town other than only the next of kin who had recently moved to the present town. However, after speaking to a relative of the deceased, who sought my help, and upon getting some assurance from the relative concerning some spiritual background of the deceased, I then acceded to granting a funeral Mass. However, I was quite taken aback, when I received a call from my assistant, who was quite stunned, confused and puzzled as to why he was being dragged into a matter which he knew nothing about. It seems that certain individuals linked to the deceased had complained to the parish priest of a parish of that distant place, allegedly stating that my assistant had refused a funeral Mass, and that parish priest then complained to my assistant concerning such a refusal; but the fact of the matter was that a funeral Mass had been granted, and the whole matter had nothing to do with my assistant.

Moreover, I was quite shocked and disappointed when I received a call from a parish priest of another parish located in another town quite some distance away, asking if there was some way burial could be permitted for the deceased at the cemetery of the parish of the present town. Such request had been denied, and the relative I had spoken to understood and agreed, that the cemetery was reserved only for folks belonging to the parish of the present town, as that was the intention of the donor of the cemetery. It seems that other relatives of the deceased were unhappy that the request had been denied, and apparently they were in disagreement with the terms and conditions concerning the cemetery, and they had the audacity to involve another parish priest of another parish located in another town quite some distance away, to try and intercede for their cause. Naturally, to preserve the original purpose of the cemetery, such a request coming from the other parish priest was also denied.

This makes me wonder... why do people not get the message when no means no, and when a request had been granted at a slightly later time, there is no need to jump the gun and create a ruckus, involving other parties? One should not think that one can pull strings and get their way, or try to pull their weight around, even if pulling such strings or weight would be not right or unjust. After all, surely some things could be granted after proper verification, and certain things cannot be granted, lest the trust concerning such things would be broken, should such demands be given in to.

Sunday, 14 October 2018

Much Ado About Nothing?

I sometimes wonder whether some of us are jumping into conclusions so quickly without reading what was actually written or listening carefully to what was actually said. Do we assume that we know what was written or said, without verifying the actual and real meaning of what was written or said? It seems easy to come up with our own interpretations, but how many of us are willing to take the trouble to find out and be clear about what was written or said?

For example, when we say "John kicked the bucket," some of us may immediately jump into conclusion that John died. But does the sentence "John kicked the bucket" have only one meaning? Have we ever considered that such a phrase could mean something else; such as John had accidentally kicked the bucket or that he had kicked the bucket by accident, as the bucket was lying around and he had not seen it? Or perhaps John was not in a very good mood, and to let out some frustration, he kicked the bucket which happened to be at the right place at the right time? So as we can see, what was said or written may not necessarily be what we think.

Even in matters of faith and church, it is always good to be clear about what was actually written or said, since sometimes even the smallest matter could be blown up into a big issue or blown out of proportion, just because some had not taken the effort to read or listen carefully to what was written or said. For example, an announcement is made advising people not to feed their children during Mass, since there ought to be a proper time and place to do so, but some seem to interpret such an announcement as if the church is forbidding parents from feeding their children in any circumstances. Then some such persons begin to say that the church is being insensitive or not caring, but if we consider what was said, did the announcement state that parents were not allowed to feed their children at any time, whereas the church had mentioned that during Mass, children should not be fed? After all, if one could show decorum and respect when one is in a banquet in the presence of some VIP (Very Important Person) or even royalty, surely one could show some decorum and respect in the presence of the King of kings at Mass?

So let us make effort not to jump into conclusions so easily, and find out and be clear about what was actually said or written, since what was written or said could jolly well be quite different from what we think. After all, it is better to be clear about the fact of the matter, rather than to end up being misinformed or even unnessarily agitated over a matter which may merely be a figment of our imagination.

BO and MO during Confession?

Among the many challenges a padre has to put up with when it comes to confession, one which is just as potent and potentially pengsan-able...