Wednesday, 25 December 2019

BO and MO during Confession?

Among the many challenges a padre has to put up with when it comes to confession, one which is just as potent and potentially pengsan-able (slang for likely a cause for one to faint) is the whole matter of BO and MO. In case you do not know what those acronyms are, BO is body odour, and MO is mouth odour. At times, the BO and/or the MO could be quite overwhelming, and some of us may need to look away, not because we do not like the penitent, but because direct inhalement of such "perfume" could result in temporary lost of attention and temporary deprivation of senses.

Sometimes, the cocktail of chemicals eminating from the BO and MO is excruciating, almost similar to traces of malathion, or even similar to the stuff used to fog away mosquitoes, and such "fragrance" could remain in the near-surrounding atmosphere for quite a while, necessitating in temporary interruption of operations, before the next penitent could be beckoned.

Seeing how such interruptions could lead to further delays in attending to many other souls looking to "cuci kolam" (as what a certain "mother superior" likes to say, referring to confession), I implore such persons affected to have a heart and do something to make such scents a little less obvious. A "scent"-free environment would really help enable the process of reconciliation to be carried out smoothly, for the good of all.

Monday, 13 May 2019

Mother Tongue

"What's your mother tongue?" I sometimes get this question from friends and others, who are curious as to why I was previously not able to speak Mandarin, and am unable to speak in other Chinese dialects (unless, of course, one wishes to include "flowery language" in Hokkien or Hakka, which I happen to know some - censored, cannot say here wan). Some folks even classified me as OCBC or banana... in case you are wondering what those words mean, OCBC is not the bank, but "Orang Cina Bukan Cina", a not so pleasant way of saying: "a Chinese who cannot speak "Chinese"." Banana means, yellow at the outside, and white in the inside, implying a Chinese who has become westernised and cannot speak Chinese.

Actually, if you look at the word "mother tongue", I believe a better way of looking at the term would be: the language that your mother taught you from the time you were an infant. In that aspect, I would unequivocally and categorically deduce that, given the circumstances, my mother tongue would certainly and definitely be "English" and not just any "English" but "British English."

In case you haven't got the faintest idea what I just wrote, let's put it in Malaysian English: "So aaa... my mother tongue is English yaa... ok? understand? Good... Dei... let's go tapau some nasi lemak and chee cheong fun. Or you prefer to eat in? Either way boleh."

So as you can see, I was previously not able to speak Chinese dialects, including Mandarin, as I had little exposure, coming from a family which speaks English at home. It was only when I went off to Taiwan that I picked up, with some success, Mandarin, not just any Mandarin, but Taiwanese Mandarin (chei wah... action wan ah). Then back here in Malaysia, I came to realise that Taiwanese Mandarin does not jive so well with some of our local folks here, since some words are different in pronunciation. After some challenging adjustments, I learnt to convert, with some mixed success, to Malaysian Mandarin. Of course, there are some side effects to such conversion. My friends in Taiwan tell me that my Mandarin has deteriorated from their level, but at the very least, folks here have some idea what I am saying, if you know what I am saying

So there you have it! My mother tongue has always been English. I learnt Mandarin in Taiwan, and Bahasa Malaysia in school, so be kind ya, if I end up going back to English. Hard disk cannot process and translate to other language so quickly (unless, of course, if I translate to BM, which I am quite ok with). Sekian, harap dimaklumkan (That's all folks!)

Thursday, 28 March 2019

O... O... O...?

Sometimes, people come to me and ask whether I belong to a particular religious order, like SJ, CDD, OFM, OFM cap, OCD, CSSR, etc.

For those of you who do not know what those acronyms mean:

SJ - Society of Jesus a.k.a. The Jesuits

CDD - Congregatio Discipulorum Domini a.k.a. Congregation of the Disciples of the Lord

OFM - Ordo Fratum Minorum a.k.a. Order of Franciscans Minor or Franciscan Friars

OFM cap - Ordo Fratrum Minorum Capuccinorum a.k.a. Order of Capuchin Friars

OCD - Order of Discalced Carmelites

CSSR - Congregation of the Most Holy Redeemer or The Redemptorists

I am not from any particular Religious Order as I am a Diocesan priest. That means I serve in a parish in a particular diocese (in this case, Kuala Lumpur Archdiocese).

However, some still ask whether diocesan priests have got some sort of initial like the religious priests, brothers and sisters do. The short answer to this question is NO. But an elderly padre who once taught us in the seminary did share with us that diocesan priests have got a hidden "sort of initial" which we don't normally mention. The padre shared that diocesan priests are known "unofficially" as "OOO" (that's 'oh oh oh' and not 3 zeros).

Anyone knows what "OOO" means?

In case you did not know, "OOO" means: Out Of Order!

Since Diocesan priests do not belong to an "Order" or a Religious Order, they are therefore "Out of Order"

Monday, 18 February 2019

Retreat or Formation? 避靜或培訓?

Some folks mix up retreat and formation. They seem to think that retreat is formation and formation is retreat. However, they are not the same. To make it simple, a retreat is time we spend with the Big Big Boss (preferably in silence and solitude) for a certain period, usually a few days, a week, or even a month. Formation, on the other hand, is for our intellectual growth, with hope that this would lead us to spiritual growth. When we are on retreat, we should not be too concerned about receiving input. Rather, we ought to spend more time listening to the Big Big Boss voice. In our world today, we are distracted by so many types of noise. As a result, we may have become less and less sensitive to the promptings from our Big Big Boss.


Tuesday, 8 January 2019

Conditional or Unconditional Generosity?

Has it ever occurred to you why some of us are offering our time, talents and wealth to the church? I have observed that in some cases, it is because of the kind of relationship persons are experiencing that some would be more or less generous. For example, a priest or a leader is friendly and caring to the people, and because some experience such friendliness and care, they are willing and happy to offer more. But when a priest or leader is less friendly or caring, then what happens, would people be still as generous?

Relationship is what many of us long for, but I wonder if that should be one factor of how generous one should be. When we speak of offering and being generous to the church, what are we really meaning here? Are we generous with the condition that we would be loved and well-treated in return? Do we expect to get something out of what we give, or could we give unconditionally? Does it mean that being a Christian means there are terms and conditions attached for our benefit?

This is where, perhaps, we need to ask ourselves: God gave us His son Jesus, freely, unconditionally, to save all of us from our sins. Jesus came not to save only a certain few, or only those who are good or kind, or according to certain terms and conditions, as salvation is offered to all. It is up to us to accept or reject this free offer of salvation, and if we reject it, we cannot turn around and say that we did not have a choice. If God’s generosity knows no bounds, then why are some of us generous with bounds, whereby for some of us, generosity is based on what we can get out of it in return?

We must remember that priests and leaders come and go, and that at the end of the day, our generosity ought to be to build God’s Kingdom and to glorify Him, not for our personal gratification or to maintain a feel-good environment. Our generosity is not going to end up only in a certain priest or leader’s pocket, or only for the benefit of a certain priest or leader; but our generosity would be used ultimately for the good of the church. If we are mindful of this, then surely we should ponder how generous we really are, and do what is right and just for the good of the church and to assist in its mission.

Tuesday, 30 October 2018

Pulling One’s Weight Around?

Recently, I came across some persons who requested for a funeral to be celebrated for a relative who passed away while working at a distant place, and the immediate next of kin of the deceased happened to have recently moved from another town to the present town where the parish I am presently ministering to is situated. The deceased had never set foot in the present town where the parish I am ministering to is situated, and the deceased, I am told, went to another parish in a different town whenever the deceased returned from that distant place to visit the grandmother.

At first, I was a little hesitant to have the funeral celebrated, since I knew nothing about the deceased, as the deceased had no other connection with the present town other than only the next of kin who had recently moved to the present town. However, after speaking to a relative of the deceased, who sought my help, and upon getting some assurance from the relative concerning some spiritual background of the deceased, I then acceded to granting a funeral Mass. However, I was quite taken aback, when I received a call from my assistant, who was quite stunned, confused and puzzled as to why he was being dragged into a matter which he knew nothing about. It seems that certain individuals linked to the deceased had complained to the parish priest of a parish of that distant place, allegedly stating that my assistant had refused a funeral Mass, and that parish priest then complained to my assistant concerning such a refusal; but the fact of the matter was that a funeral Mass had been granted, and the whole matter had nothing to do with my assistant.

Moreover, I was quite shocked and disappointed when I received a call from a parish priest of another parish located in another town quite some distance away, asking if there was some way burial could be permitted for the deceased at the cemetery of the parish of the present town. Such request had been denied, and the relative I had spoken to understood and agreed, that the cemetery was reserved only for folks belonging to the parish of the present town, as that was the intention of the donor of the cemetery. It seems that other relatives of the deceased were unhappy that the request had been denied, and apparently they were in disagreement with the terms and conditions concerning the cemetery, and they had the audacity to involve another parish priest of another parish located in another town quite some distance away, to try and intercede for their cause. Naturally, to preserve the original purpose of the cemetery, such a request coming from the other parish priest was also denied.

This makes me wonder... why do people not get the message when no means no, and when a request had been granted at a slightly later time, there is no need to jump the gun and create a ruckus, involving other parties? One should not think that one can pull strings and get their way, or try to pull their weight around, even if pulling such strings or weight would be not right or unjust. After all, surely some things could be granted after proper verification, and certain things cannot be granted, lest the trust concerning such things would be broken, should such demands be given in to.

Sunday, 14 October 2018

Much Ado About Nothing?

I sometimes wonder whether some of us are jumping into conclusions so quickly without reading what was actually written or listening carefully to what was actually said. Do we assume that we know what was written or said, without verifying the actual and real meaning of what was written or said? It seems easy to come up with our own interpretations, but how many of us are willing to take the trouble to find out and be clear about what was written or said?

For example, when we say "John kicked the bucket," some of us may immediately jump into conclusion that John died. But does the sentence "John kicked the bucket" have only one meaning? Have we ever considered that such a phrase could mean something else; such as John had accidentally kicked the bucket or that he had kicked the bucket by accident, as the bucket was lying around and he had not seen it? Or perhaps John was not in a very good mood, and to let out some frustration, he kicked the bucket which happened to be at the right place at the right time? So as we can see, what was said or written may not necessarily be what we think.

Even in matters of faith and church, it is always good to be clear about what was actually written or said, since sometimes even the smallest matter could be blown up into a big issue or blown out of proportion, just because some had not taken the effort to read or listen carefully to what was written or said. For example, an announcement is made advising people not to feed their children during Mass, since there ought to be a proper time and place to do so, but some seem to interpret such an announcement as if the church is forbidding parents from feeding their children in any circumstances. Then some such persons begin to say that the church is being insensitive or not caring, but if we consider what was said, did the announcement state that parents were not allowed to feed their children at any time, whereas the church had mentioned that during Mass, children should not be fed? After all, if one could show decorum and respect when one is in a banquet in the presence of some VIP (Very Important Person) or even royalty, surely one could show some decorum and respect in the presence of the King of kings at Mass?

So let us make effort not to jump into conclusions so easily, and find out and be clear about what was actually said or written, since what was written or said could jolly well be quite different from what we think. After all, it is better to be clear about the fact of the matter, rather than to end up being misinformed or even unnessarily agitated over a matter which may merely be a figment of our imagination.

BO and MO during Confession?

Among the many challenges a padre has to put up with when it comes to confession, one which is just as potent and potentially pengsan-able...