Receiving Holy Communion on the hand
- Some people receive Holy Communion with only one hand. Would you receive a gift with only one hand? Not very polite aye?
- Some people receive Holy Communion with the fingers of the right hand shaped like the open beak of a baby bird calling out for food. Cheeep cheeep cheeep.
- Some people receive Holy Communion but their hands are dirty or soiled. Surely one should have ensured that one's hands are clean before coming for Mass.
Receiving Holy Communion on the tongue
- Some people receive Holy Communion on the tongue, but they stick their teeth out like Jaws. There have been several instances where the poor padre had his fingers bitten when the person closed his or her mouth and the teeth bit into the padre's fingers. Ow! The agony.
- Some people receive Holy Communion on the tongue, but their tongue sticks out like a lizard's tongue, so quick and yucky, especially when the tongue touches the padre's fingers. It went shhooop... like a lizard catching a meal.
- Some people receive Holy Communion on the tongue, but they do not stick out their tongue a little longer or open their mouth a little wider. This sometimes causes the Holy Communion host to accidentally fall from the mouth and into the clothing. There have been instances where the person is a lady, well-endowed and wearing a low cut dress. Guess where the Holy Communion host fell in between? The padre certainly did not want to touch that place and asked the lady to hunt for the Holy Communion host herself. Aiyoyoyo! Mamma mia!
The proper way to receive Holy Communion with the tongue is to open your mouth wider a little, stick out the tongue a little more, so that the padre could place the Holy Communion host towards the center or back of the tongue. That way the Holy Communion host would less likely fall out of the mouth and end up at unmentionable or undesirable places.